Day Two

Sometimes I just don't think I get the world anymore. I consider myself a bright, articulate, caring woman. Somewhat a feminista as my dumper would call feminists. I do believe men and women are equals, however I do not believe men and women are the same. I think it is pretty clear that men and women are more alike than different but there are definitely differences beyond the fact that men can't find the ketchup in the fridge.

I have heard and seen some horror stories this last week that just make me want to crawl in a hole and never come out to date again. A friend of mine had a good friend of hers who was, thirty-six, college educated, attractive, had a good career, an all around with-it woman dumped for a twenty-five year old high school drop out who worked at Popeye's. Now, I could be wrong but I just don't think if the tables were turned that she would have dumped him for a 25 year old high school drop out who worked at Popeye's. (I love Popeye's by the way). My friend surmised that the twenty-five year old had a tighter ass. Probably so. There you go. My ass isn't tight enough.(Which is not the same as being a tight-ass) She feels like women aren't valued for the same things that men are. I agree.

I have had this discussion with one of my best friends many times. Women are judged by their appearance. How attractive they are in general. I'm guessing the 25 year old from Popeye's was hot. What do you guess? I do not know any of these people directly but it seems like an oft repeated scenario. Just look around. There are many, many examples of average looking men with really attractive women. King of Queens, The World According to Jim, Green Acres, Everybody loves Raymond, The Simpsons, anyone Bob Newhart was married to or that crazy reality show with Flavor Flav. And before you point out to me that these are all TV shows look at real life political couples, Rudy Guilianni and his bride Judith Nathan, or Fred Thompson and Jeri Kehn. Hello?! And I know someone will point out that there are women who solely date men for money which is just as shallow as dating someone for their looks, but, I think how much money you make is more closely correlated with effort than looks.

I wish women could be appreciated and valued as much for their accomplishments and character as they are their looks. And I am not totally blaming men for this. We do a lot of this to ourselves. When we give ourselves names like Precious Bitch, and Hottie, on Myspace or allow our daughters to wear pants with "Golddigger" plastered across their ass. And I am glad that the whole metro-sexual movement is in full swing so that men can enjoy waxing as much as women. Of course this whole argument is based on generalizations no need to point out exceptions. There will always be exceptions.

Maybe this is just hitting home for me right now because after every time I am dumped I wonder if I was better looking would this have happened? I HATE FEELING THAT WAY. But the message I have received in subtle and not so subtle ways is that how I look is the most important thing.